I knew something was wrong when I got teary at the thought of throwing away my old fax machine.
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For a split second, thoughts ran through my head, like: “How can I reject it when it’s been so good to me?” Whoa — wait a minute. Why am I anthropomorphizing an office supply? After much soul-searching and a trip to a very well-respected psychologist, I found out why.
I was suffering from Compassion Fatigue Syndrome. Five years of working at various animal shelters, including a stint as a euthanasia technician, had taken their toll.
I had never heard of “Compassion Fatigue Syndrome,” much less suspected that I may have it. Simply put, “Compassion Fatigue Syndrome” (CFS) is much like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and occurs in people who are exposed to the suffering of other people, or animals. These people are usually rescue workers, such as nurses, firefighters, and animal rescue workers.
When I finally had a name to the feelings, everything became so clear to me.
So why it is so seldom talked about? My theory is that to really be able to thrive in these sorts of environments, you have to be able to turn your emotions off and put up “emotional armor,” so to speak. Talking about “feelings” only served to “crack” that armor. In all honesty, during euthanasia time, we were usually in that room cracking jokes. Don’t get me wrong, we were giving that scared dog, or unsuspecting kitten, a final pat, or ear scratch, but we will make sarcastic remarks about things like how the euthanasia solution is called “Fatal Plus” (as if just “Fatal” wasn’t enough). And it is not because we were cold or callous, or did not care. It is because it was the only way we could survive what we did, day after day, without completely going off of the deep end.
Even if you don’t work directly with animals, it does not mean that you cannot be affected by CFS. The fact of the matter is we are working every day to stop the injustices of animals everywhere. Doesn’t that sound so infinite?
Those of us that do this for a living, or actively volunteer, are constantly bombarded with horrifying pictures, video, first-hand accounts, and news stories of the atrocities that these animals are facing every minute of every day. This can be very overwhelming and sometimes it is hard to remember that you are not the only one who is working so hard on these issues. This can cause a serious imbalance in your life as you start devoting more and more time to working on these issues, because you feel like, if you don’t do it, who will?
So, my fellow animal rescuers, advocates, and lovers, I write this to make you aware of Compassion Fatigue Syndrome because it can happen to any of us, and quite frankly, it is just not discussed enough. Those negative feelings that can occur should not, under any circumstance, be ignored. Address it now, address it right away, before it becomes a bigger problem.
Remember, you are not alone in this effort towards animal rights, and it is OK if you take a break — the rest of us will keep working on the issues while you are gone. I promise. Here’s proof.
For more information on symptoms, diagnoses and treatment of Compassion Fatigue Syndrome, please visit www.animalsinourhearts.com/fatigue/whatis.htm.
Blogging off,
Jessica